As an adult, it can get harder to trust new people.
That's not a bad thing.
It may simply mean you've learned how to hand out trust carefully.
When you were a kid, you had the same school, the same class, the same club.
You saw each other every day.
Not much was at stake.
You had time to get to know someone.
And if things went wrong, there was a chance to patch things up.
So trusting people came easily.
As an adult, work, money, romance, marriage, family, time and personal boundaries all get tangled up in it.
Not trusting someone right away is perfectly natural.
But that doesn't mean you have to distrust everyone.
Trust can be unlocked in stages.
Start with guest access.
Just say hello.
Then small talk.
Then talk about hobbies.
Then a small favor or a bit of advice.
Then see whether they keep their promises.
Then see whether they respect your boundaries.
Then see how they act when things get hard.
If they're steady, open up a little more.
If they act superior, gossip, use your weak spots against you, or step over your boundaries, stop right there.
That's not distrust of people.
It's a safety check.
If you can't bring yourself to trust new people, you don't have to force yourself to trust them all at once.
Just try it bit by bit.
Trust isn't 0 or 100. It grows from 10 to 20 to 30.
