After the breakup, I reached the main conclusion within days.
It was fun. I loved them. But a future life together looked difficult.
My brain reopened court the next day anyway.
“New evidence!”
There wasn’t any.
“Then let’s retry it from another angle!”
Please stop.
My mistakes, their circumstances, money, family boundaries, whether getting back together would work: the same questions kept returning.
So I used a zoo in my head.
Visitors allowed. Business closed.
Recreating the feeling from my memory now, the conversation went something like this:
Keeper: “A case has entered the zoo.”
Brain: “Perhaps we should think it through again…”
Keeper: “Any new information?”
Brain: “No.”
Keeper: “BANG. Closed.”
No debate, no persuasion, no order to never remember it.
Acknowledge the visitor. Don’t open for business.
A monkey brings an old unpleasant scene. A capybara arrives with no new reason, just “I’d like to check again.” These animals are mascots for thoughts, not nicknames for my ex.
“Today’s business is over.”
“But just one thing…”
BANG. Shutter down. Zoo closed.
Back tomorrow? BANG.
It could be crude. I had already treated the serious issue seriously. Every repeat visitor didn’t need VIP service.
A long explanation extends the meeting
Answer “Was that really the right choice?” with “Firstly…” every time, and I’m already participating in another analysis.
I needed closing procedures, not a winning argument.
“This changed my life” becoming “Oh, another visitor” gave me some distance. The event still mattered. I just wanted to stop running the same calculation.
I checked for a new fact, a new decision or something useful I could do now.
If there was something new, I would think about it. Otherwise: “Processed.”
A short private name—“old trial,” “boundary issue”—made it easier to file away without rebuilding an entire philosophy of life.
The zoo had suddenly become a government office.
Calling AI every time keeps the zoo open 24 hours
AI helped just after the breakup. I put feelings into words, separated facts from guesses and looked for things I could improve. It helped organize money and family issues without making the other person the sole villain.
But bringing every small doubt back after I had an answer started another big analysis.
Brain: “I’m anxious!”
AI: “Let’s analyze again.”
Brain: “Great! Another check!”
That is a 24-hour zoo.
So I also practiced ending small return visits with “Already processed.” AI can help an investigation. It doesn’t need to host daily appeals after the verdict.
Once closed, drink water. Walk. Shower, read manga, play, eat, work. Leave the courtroom in my head and return to where I am.
Eventually I hardly needed to close it
At first I consciously thought, “It’s back. Close it.”
Now I rarely need the ritual. While talking about the past, I suddenly noticed: “Wait, I haven’t been going round and round lately.”
I still remember. But it can end at “That happened,” without another trial.
Research on taking some distance when reflecting on negative experiences has found lower emotional reactions and more constructive processing.[1][2] That doesn’t establish a “BANG therapy.”
For me, time, enough thinking, writing things down and moving on with daily life may all have contributed.
I don’t close the zoo on an ongoing problem, new facts, or safety and health matters. If this kind of thinking seriously disrupts sleep, eating or work, medical or psychological support is an option.
What I wanted to stop was issuing the same verdict daily after the necessary work was done.
Days for the verdict. Months to sort out the reasons. Finally: “No new information. BANG. Closed.”
Months later, I had almost forgotten the zoo existed.
My head had become that much quieter.
